uniTEA: i can see thst being a struggle for me too if i ever manage to get that far
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uniTEA: whenever i try to words this outloud (or yknow type it) it sounds so dumb and dramatic ugh. emotional vulnerability is also gross!! uniTEA: but uniTEA: it really is just the thought of not being in immediate physical and mental control over myself and whatever's going on around me ig? which is funny bc i'm obviously not the most self-controlled seeming person in the world, right? uniTEA: it's like a souped up vers of my usual "i hate being picked up and may bite your hand off if you try" and "if you startle me i might accidentally kill you" nonsense
W: no i get it!! W: like it DOES require some giving up of control for SURE W: and honestly i think ppl like me and you kinda need a level of control so we can play casual W: like i get BITCHY when i get put on my back foot
W: i guess the thing that makes it easier with azul is i just really like how much fun he has with it?
uniTEA: clasps ur hand lol uniTEA: the handclasp of salty salty hiss hiss tea-w solidarity
uniTEA: hmm that makes sense uniTEA: like it's a treat for the both of you?
uniTEA: speaking of playing it casual tho i wonder if uniTEA: like uniTEA: part of me shying away from approaching this has been a sinking suspicion that if they take it too seriously and earnestly i will PERISH from embarrassment. like obviously they have to take my very legit feelings seriously or else ill punch them in the teeth and then ask you if you want a turn lol. but if they made a big deal of it or tried to baby me?? ugh. no.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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uniTEA: whenever i try to words this outloud (or yknow type it) it sounds so dumb and dramatic ugh. emotional vulnerability is also gross!!
uniTEA: but
uniTEA: it really is just the thought of not being in immediate physical and mental control over myself and whatever's going on around me ig? which is funny bc i'm obviously not the most self-controlled seeming person in the world, right?
uniTEA: it's like a souped up vers of my usual "i hate being picked up and may bite your hand off if you try" and "if you startle me i might accidentally kill you" nonsense
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W: like it DOES require some giving up of control for SURE
W: and honestly i think ppl like me and you kinda need a level of control so we can play casual
W: like i get BITCHY when i get put on my back foot
W: i guess the thing that makes it easier with azul is i just really like how much fun he has with it?
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uniTEA: the handclasp of salty salty hiss hiss tea-w solidarity
uniTEA: hmm that makes sense
uniTEA: like it's a treat for the both of you?
uniTEA: speaking of playing it casual tho i wonder if
uniTEA: like
uniTEA: part of me shying away from approaching this has been a sinking suspicion that if they take it too seriously and earnestly i will PERISH from embarrassment. like obviously they have to take my very legit feelings seriously or else ill punch them in the teeth and then ask you if you want a turn lol. but if they made a big deal of it or tried to baby me?? ugh. no.
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W: the overcompensating
W: i guess you could just tell them not to be weird
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uniTEA: i do worry a bit tho that people might take THAT weird
uniTEA: or at least be awkward about it
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W: then if you don't like it it's not out of left field to tell them so
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uniTEA: id at least have to warn them that i might react badly. them pesky reflexes and all
uniTEA: do you ever have that problem?
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uniTEA: that's a text representation of the noise i just made
uniTEA: bless you guys
uniTEA: also thanks w, this has really helped.
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W: i know it's like a weird situation to navigate but i think keeping it light can help
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uniTEA: hopefully anyway
uniTEA: i'll probly end up kicking down your metaphorical door about it again tho
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